Private Party

That's the name of my locs' theme song. I listened to India.Arie's Testimony CD during most of my latching; that CD is the soundtrack to The Orgy. :) But Private Party is OUR song. Our special song, me and my locs. Because it was a totally private party. And though I've shared it with people, I know it doesn't mean quite the same to anyone else what it means to me. And I'm OK with that. I love that CD, I really do. It's my favorite of hers. And that song... whew! Let me C&P the lyrics...

"Private Party"
by India.Arie

[Chorus]
I'm having a private party
Ain't no body here but me, my angels, and my guitar singin' baby look how far we've come here
I'm havin' a private party
Learning how to love me
Celebrating the woman I've become, yeah

I tried to call my mother, but
She didn't get where I was going
I called my boyfriend and he said
Call me back a little later baby
I hung up the phone, I felt so alone
Started to feel a little pity
That's when I realized that I
Gotta find the joy inside of me

[Chorus]

I'm gonna take off all my clothes
Look at myself in the mirror
We're gonna have a conversation
We're gonna heal the disconnection
I don't remember when it started
But this is where it's gonna end
My body is beautiful and sacred
And I'm gonna celebrate it

[Chorus]

All my life (all my life)
I've been looking for (I've been looking for)
Somebody else (else)
To make me whole (ooo)
But I had to learn the hard way (ooo)
True love began with me (ooo)
This is not ego or vanity (ooo)
I'm just celebrating me

[Chorus]

Sometimes I'm alone but never lonely
That's what I've come to realize
I've learned to love the quiet moments
The Sunday mornings of life
Where I can reach deep down inside
Or out into the universe
I can laugh until I cry
Or I can cry away the hurt

[Chorus]

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday

[Chorus 2x]

Man, I LOVE that song!!! I can relate it to so many aspects of me (including body image, especially with my weight struggles), but when I was latching, it was all about my hair. How for years there WAS a disconnect. I had to get to a point where I could embrace my nappy hair and the way I see it now, locs are a perfect way to celebrate that beauty. I feel like right now, I'm going through a transformation: my body from the weight-loss and my hair as well. And while I'd normally say I was the same person inside, I know this isn't true. Both of these experiences are changing me. I'm becoming more patient with myself in all aspects. I'm learning how to allow myself to make mistakes and learn from them. I'm learning how to accept that I'm not perfect, and that's OK. And the biggest thing I've learned is a setback or mistake does not mean I have to give up. Now that I type this blog, it isn't surprising to me that locking my hair and shedding this excess weight are happening concurrently. And at first, I was annoyed that my weight-loss stats showed up in this blog. I wanted them to only show up in My Fantastic Voyage; I wanted hair stats in THIS blog. But now that I have typed all this out, I realize that it's all interconnected anyway, so no matter. For the first time in a long time, I just feel like everything is falling into place, like I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. And it feels good. Praise YAH!!!!

Well, I've yet to style my locs, so I'm about to give them a good rinsing and then I'm going to set them on sponge rollers. Hopefully it'll be cute! :)